When "I'm fine" is not the full story
Most of us know a “Kath”.
The colleague who keeps going. Keeps helping. Keeps smiling. Keeps saying “I’m fine” even when they are anything but fine.
In health and social care, people often become experts at carrying on. They push through, hold everything together, and try not to let the strain show. From the outside, they can look as dependable as ever. On the inside, they may be exhausted, overwhelmed, or very close to burnout.
That is why supporting our colleagues matters so much.
Stress Awareness Month is a timely reminder that one of the most powerful things we can do at work is be there for each other. Not with grand speeches or perfect solutions. Just with simple acts of care, curiosity, and connection.
Because sometimes the biggest difference starts with the smallest thing - asking someone if they are really OK.
Many of us feel confident supporting patients, service users, and families. But when it comes to colleagues, we can hesitate. We worry about intruding. We worry about saying the wrong thing. We worry about opening up something we cannot fix.
But in my experience, the greater risk is often saying nothing.
When I talk to teams about this, I keep it very simple: Look, Listen, Link.
Look for signs that someone is not quite themselves. They may seem quieter, more irritable, more tired, less organised, or more withdrawn. They may be staying late, or missing deadlines. Stress does not usually look dramatic. Very often, it looks like someone trying hard to keep going.
Listen with care. Choose a moment when neither of you is rushed. Find some privacy. Ask a simple question such as, “How are things really?” Then stop and listen. You do not need to fix everything. You do not need the perfect words. Often, what helps most is making space for someone to be honest.
Link them to further support if needed. That might mean encouraging them to speak to their manager, occupational health, their GP, or another trusted source of support. In the North East and North Cumbria, it can also mean helping them access the Staff Wellbeing Hub.
The North East and North Cumbria Staff Wellbeing Hub is a free, confidential, fast-access NHS service for staff working across health and social care in our region.
We know that when staff are struggling, barriers matter. Delay matters. Confidentiality matters. Feeling that support is not really for someone like you matters.
The Hub is designed to remove those barriers. Staff can self-refer confidentially and are offered quick support from experienced mental health professionals.
In health and social care, supporting our colleagues is not an optional extra. It is part of creating healthy teams, compassionate workplaces, and a culture where people do not have to suffer in silence.
And if you are the one finding things hard right now, please remember this: you do not have to just keep going.
If you work in health or social care in the North East and North Cumbria, the Staff Wellbeing Hub is here for you.
Find out more and complete the brief confidential self-referral form.
Dr Richard Duggins
Clinical Lead, North East and North Cumbria Staff Wellbeing Hub
Author of Burnout-Free Working